Marcin Kamiński's profile

Gazeta.pl - Faktoid

LEAD: Horror! He never took breaks. Now he's DEAD. 

SUBHEADING: Independent scientists: time for break, time for KitKat

PARAGRAPH: Colleagues of Mr Marcin (42 yrs, deceased), an up-and-coming junior account manager at Important Warsaw Corporation (info on age not available to the general public), are shocked.

"We all work hard, but none of us worked as hard as he did. He used to take breaks when he just came here" said Mrs Aldona (37 yrs old), the HR manager with the company "but then he just stopped doing it altogether"

Since Mr Marcin's death, one thread seems to keep on recurring in water-cooler conversations: the KitKat bars. Forensic experts speculate, whether the bar could've prevented this tragedy from happening and where Mr Marcin's parents have been all that time.

CONTEXT: A part of KitKat's campaign featuring native content at Gazeta.pl
LEAD: Robert Biedron (39 yrs old) confesses - "I'm a PRIEST"

QUOTE by Robert Biedron: "It's my coming out!"

PARAGRAPH: "My name is Robert Biedron (39 yrs old). I am a gay man, a politician, an LGBT activist, a Member of the 7th Parliament of the Republic of Poland, the president of the great city of Słupsk, and... A PRIEST! - that's how Biedron began today's shocking press conference. The president confessed that for the most of his career he withheld from the general public the fact that he is a Catholic vicar. Present at the conference, right by Biedron's side, was his long-time prelate. Vatican has yet to comment on the matter.

CONTEXT: Robert Biedron is the most prominent LGBT activist and politician in Poland, the first openly gay man to hold a public office. This piece alludes to the highly publicised coming-out of Krzysztof Charamsa, a high-ranking Polish priest and Vatican official.
LEAD: President will join the MARCH...

SUBHEADING: ...but wearing BALACLAVA.

PARAGRAPH: Fresh scoop! According to unofficial sources, President Andrzej Duda (43 yrs old) will join the Independence March! The Presidential Chancellory briefly entertained the possibility of asking Czech prime minister to join the march as a stand-in for Duda, but ultimately rejected the idea. Why balaclava though?

"We want President Duda to be the president of the entire nation. It's a compromise" explained the president's spokesman.

CONTEXT: A satire on highly controversial annual Independence March (which is attended by large numbers of nationalist/racist hooligans) and on Poland's 6th President, Andrzej Duda. During the campaign, Duda promised to be the conciliatory president, "the president of each and every one of Poles", yet he never delivered on that promise and kept on endorsing far-right policies of his own party and fringe groups.
LEAD: A TRIBUNAL for each CHILD.
SUBHEADING: New bill by PiS to finally end the debate.

PARAGRAPH: PiS emphasises that the bill is still in the early stage of development. 

"Take it easy, we don't even have the initial draft" said Elżbieta Witek (58 yrs old), the spokesman for the Prime Minister's Chancellory. The project is slated to be written, discussed, vetted and passed by 11pm tonight.

CONTEXT: The butt of the joke in this one is the Poland's current ruling party, Law and justice (PiS), which after its supersonic rise to power went on to pass a myriad of anti-democratic acts at a supersonic rate. One of such bills was an act on Constitutional Tribunal. While doing so, they kept on pushing the welfare-oriented legislation, a flagship project here being "PLN500 for Each Child". Both welfare and anti-democratic bills have been written with no regard for the jurisprudence or Europe-wide lawmaking standards.
Gazeta.pl - Faktoid
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Gazeta.pl - Faktoid

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